How to Look for a Therapist You Can Trust: Red Flags to Avoid
The decision to see a therapist is an act of profound trust. You're preparing to share your most private thoughts, fears, and hopes with a stranger, believing they can help you heal. The person sitting opposite you holds a great deal of power in that moment.
That’s why finding the right person isn't just important; it’s critical. A great therapist can guide you toward clarity and strength. The wrong one can leave you feeling misunderstood, invalidated, or even worse off than when you started.
This guide is about protecting that trust. We'll walk you through the clear warning signs, from subtle gut feelings to obvious ethical breaches, that tell you a therapist isn't the right fit, so you can confidently find a safe and truly supportive professional.
Phase 1: Establishing Your Baseline for a ‘Green Flag’
Before you begin your search, you need a clear mission. A well-defined objective will make your search far more efficient and effective, ensuring you find the right specialist for the job. It's important to identify the specific issue you want to address in therapy, as this will help you find a therapist experienced in treating your particular concern.
Clarify Your Goals
First, determine why you want to see a therapist. Are you looking for tools to manage stress, process past trauma, improve relationships, or navigate a difficult life transition? Therapy can help you achieve better mental health outcomes and a better understanding of yourself. Knowing your primary needs and goals will help you find a specialist. Some therapists focus on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for anxiety, while others have deep experience in family systems or trauma-informed care.
Understand the Professional Landscape
The term “therapist“ is a broad umbrella, so it’s important to know who you might be working with. Your search may lead you to different types of licensed professionals, including Psychologists (Ph.D. or Psy.D.), who can provide therapy and psychological testing; Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW), who are trained in social systems and therapeutic modalities; Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT), who specialize in relationship dynamics; or Art Therapists (ATR-BC), who are specifically trained to use the creative process of art-making to improve a person’s mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
When you choose a professional, ensure they are licensed. Consider their specialities and approach to ensure they align with your individual needs and preferences.
Assess the Logistics
Finally, consider the practical details. Think about your budget, whether you plan to use health insurance, and if you prefer online therapy or in-person sessions. If you are not able to attend in-person therapy due to travel, time, or financial constraints, you may need to consider online alternatives. Answering these questions upfront will significantly narrow your search.
Phase 2: Uncover the First Session to Uncover Risks
The first time you meet a potential therapist, whether on a phone call or in the first session, you are conducting an interview. Your goal is to gather intelligence and assess risk. Their answers and how they answer will reveal a lot.
Where to Find a Therapist
Your search for a potential therapist can begin in several key places. Professional directories in Singapore, such as Psychology Today offer robust search tools. Moreover, some community organizations and online platforms provide free mental health resources, such as free initial consultations or support groups, making therapy more accessible.
The Initial Consultation: Your First Interview
The first time you speak with a therapist, whether on a brief phone call or during a full first session, treat it as an interview. You are assessing them just as much as they are assessing you. Don’t hesitate to take control of the conversation to get the information you need. You could ask about their experience with your specific concerns, discuss their therapeutic approach, or inquire about what a typical session entails.
Key Questions to Ask Your Potential Therapist
To make the most of this initial meeting, come prepared with questions. This is your opportunity to gauge their expertise and approach, ensuring you find the best therapist for your specific needs.
“What is your experience working with people on [your specific issues]?”
“Can you describe your type of therapy or approach? How will we work together?”
“How do you measure progress? How will we know if therapy is working?”
“What is your cost per session, and what are your policies on payment and cancellations?”
Phase 3: The Flag System: Assessing Your Therapist
As you begin your sessions, pay close attention to how you feel and how the therapist operates. After seeing a therapist for a few sessions, take time to evaluate whether the relationship feels effective and supportive. A successful therapeutic relationship is built on a foundation of trust and professionalism.
| Flag | Signs | Meaning | Action |
|---|---|---|---|
| Green Flags |
|
Healthy, supportive relationship | Continue - good therapist |
| Yellow Flags |
|
Poor fit or lack of professionalism | Give feedback or reassess |
| Red Flags |
|
Unethical or unsafe | Stop therapy immediately |
The Flag System: Assessing Your Therapist
Green Flags: Signs of a Good Therapist and a Secure Fit
On the other hand, a good therapist will demonstrate clear signs of professionalism and compatibility. You should feel comfortable and respected from the very first interaction. Pay attention to your feelings of trust, safety, and connection with the therapist, as these emotional responses are important indicators of a positive therapeutic relationship.
They should be transparent about their license and credentials, establishing clear professional boundaries from the first appointment. A great sign is a therapist who listens more than they talk, asks insightful questions, and collaborates with you on a treatment plan. You should feel like you are a partner in your own therapy.
Yellow Flags: Reasons to Pause and Reassess
Yellow flags are warnings that something may not be as it seems. You may want to address these directly; a good professional will be receptive to feedback. These signs include the therapist seeming distracted, checking their phone, or talking excessively about themselves. If their advice feels generic or you simply don't feel a connection after several sessions, it may not be a good fit. A poor fit is a valid reason to look for someone else.
Red Flags: Immediate Grounds to Find a New Therapist
Red flags signal a need to terminate the relationship immediately. Trust your instincts. A therapist should never be dismissive or judgmental, telling you how you should feel or pushing a personal agenda. They should be professional, which means being punctual and not cancelling appointments at the last minute without a good reason. No ethical professional can guarantee a "cure," and any refusal to be transparent about their credentials is a significant warning.
Most critically, be aware of severe ethical violations. You must end the sessions and find a new therapist if you experience any of the following:
Any romantic or sexual advances or comments.
Any violation of confidentiality (outside of legal requirements to report harm).
Any requests for personal favors, business relationships, or friendships outside of therapy.
The Ongoing Journey of Growth
Therapy is a collaborative process tailored to you. While different formats exist, such as individual, group, or family therapy, the core of the work is the partnership you build with your therapist. As you continue, you will work together to explore your thoughts and feelings, develop new coping strategies, and track progress toward your goals. The aim is to help you gain insight, build resilience, and improve your overall well-being.
It’s not uncommon to meet with a few therapists before finding someone who feels right. This is a normal part of the process, not a setback. Prioritizing your comfort and needs is the most important step you can take. Investing the time to find the right therapist is a powerful move toward achieving your mental health goals and making meaningful, lasting changes in your life.
Trust Your Instincts and Make the Right Choice
The process of how to look for a therapist is an investment in yourself. The single most important factor in successful therapy is the quality of the therapeutic alliance. Even if a therapist has perfect credentials, if it’s not the right fit, the work will not be as effective. It is perfectly acceptable to see more than one therapist before finding the right person. This isn’t a failure; it’s a crucial part of the vetting process.
At Benjamin Psychological & Therapeutic Services, we know that a proactive approach to security is the only effective one. Applying the same diligence to your mental health by carefully selecting a trusted, professional therapist is a powerful step toward building the resilience you need to thrive.
Ready to make the right choice? Book a free 20-minute consultation with us today.
